What Happens When Words Speak Louder Than Actions

I asked you all to vote on what you want to read about next, but I’m sorry to report (okay, not really…but I can pretend) that I’ve overruled you because there’s something I just can’t stop thinking about as this whole clusterf*ck in Iran keeps unfolding. 

As I’m writing this, we’ve recently learned that the US, Iran, and Israel (with reservations) have all accepted a two-week ceasefire agreement. That feels like good news! We love ceasefires! But there are already grumblings that the agreement isn’t holding. And conflicting reports on what it actually entails. So I’m once again asking you to dig beneath the headlines and really think about what’s going on here. As a former diplomat in one of my group chats helpfully outlined for us: 

Okay, so there might be an end to this war…great! But what was the objective of this conflict in the first place? If you answered “I have no f*cking clue” you’d be the closest to correct that can be found in this situation. And that’s because we honestly weren’t really told. By our own government! Why we were bombing another country…

There were all sorts of reasons why other people felt this might be a necessary move — regime change, preventing Iran from building nuclear weapons, protecting the United States. But members of our actual government released so many conflicting statements that it’s impossible to say with any certainty what the objective was. Which means it’s equally impossible to say whether or not we achieved it with this new development. 

Now first let me be clear that it’s wayyyyy too soon to tell if this agreement will even hold. Let alone lead to a longer-term deal. But that’s beside the point. Or at least the point I want to be making with this particular article. 

All of the conflicting, bombastic rhetoric of the past 40 days has felt exhausting and overwhelming beyond the usual level we’ve been grappling with for the past two years. And like many of you, I thought I might be close to reaching my breaking point when the President of our country decided to press send on the following message to the world:

A lot of people were horrified. But plenty also brushed it off. That’s just Trump. That’s the way he talks. He’s hyperbolic and loudmouthed and histrionic…especially that last one. 

And I don’t even want to talk about the implications of using “ending a civilization” as a threat that may or may not have led to the current ceasefire agreement. Because frankly there’s no way to know exactly what got us to this new “brink” (we seem to reach a new one every week at this point). 

But oddly enough…that is in fact my point. 

When words no longer matter because we have enough experience to know that they’re said with no thought or discernment…where does that leave us? The people who are supposed to be represented by our government? 

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When I was younger, my family would often talk politics — even though my parents weren’t always 100% aligned on their party affiliation or their votes. In fact, I think the fact that I could see that difference in my parents while also observing their calm, pragmatic, and respectful conversations about the policies over which they diverged was much more significant than I realized at the time. Because it also allowed me to see that fundamentally, my parents’ values were nearly identical. They just sometimes (okay fine, often) disagreed with the mechanisms or actions necessary to achieve similar goals. 

But something I remember as being my own belief shaped during that time without being fully conscious of it was my view of the role of a President. I listened to my parents discuss policies and my eyes would often glaze over, my mind wisping away into a blissful daydream as they debated whether a particular infrastructure investment was the correct choice or how the cash bail system contributed to socioeconomic inequality. But in the back of my mind, I remember thinking to myself: wow, there are so many intricate policy decisions that go into running the country. How could the President actually keep up? 

My adolescent brain came to the conclusion that he (or she! Please lord let there be a she in my lifetime) simply can’t. In fact, my young mind decided that it didn’t make sense for a President to even try to keep up with the level of detail that my parents were describing. That’s why there were so many people operating in government that I still to this day find it hard to keep track of the various offices and their distinct responsibilities (we have a special election for councilmember in my district coming up this month…does anyone want to tell me precisely what this office is in charge of? DMs are open). 

So where does that leave the President? The theoretically most important role. 

My opinion: as a figurehead.

Look, a VERY important figurehead. But in my view the head of a democratic state’s most important role in government is to represent — symbolically — the people of their country. 

And I think this is why I’m so particularly bothered by Trump’s rhetoric. By the fact that he doesn’t seem to care how often he lies. To be honest I’m not convinced he even views his false statements as lies. I’m pretty convinced that he genuinely believes the things he says in the moment. It’s just that after the moment passes, and he achieves his desired outcome or bullies someone into agreeing with him…the moment simply disappears. And it no longer matters if what he said was factually accurate or not. Because it was a means to an end. The Machiavelli of a new era. 

But if you agree with me, even a little bit, that the role of the President of the United States is to represent his or her people emblematically. Then you probably also feel that the current administration’s communication leaves much to be desired. 

What strikes me beyond the obvious though, is the impact this is having on our view of actions. If we’re essentially being taught to discount the words we’re being fed — we know they’re blowhards, so take everything with a grain of salt — then what happens when that dismissive disregard extends to actions? 

Maybe this sounds a little far fetched. But the war in Iran is an apt example here. The same way Trump throws out seemingly ludicrous words on Truth Social, he now seems to be extending to literal military action. 

Backing up to the words, many people believe that Trump doesn’t “mean what he says” half the time. We established above that I disagree, but the result is the same — he often makes comments simply to see what the public’s reaction might be. Why do you think he’s so glued to his own personal social media platform? This man loves the limelight. The attention. The perception of power. So he makes wild statements that make him feel strong. And he sees which way the wind blows.

Now I’m not saying he went into this war with the same lack of forethought. He is still surrounded by advisors and experts who — at least theoretically — have been briefing him extensively about everything from the situation on the ground in the Middle East to the physical health of the new Ayatollah. But my theory is that Trump, now obsessed with his legacy after his second term, emboldened after what he viewed as a quick and easy win on the world stage in Venezuela, decided like any toddler in a candy shop that he wanted more.

So he went after Iran. Maybe thinking that taking out a handful of strategic leaders would garner himself an even more massive victory — the ever elusive headline of “peace in the Middle East”. Of course anyone with any actual in-depth knowledge of the region knew that simply eliminating the Ayatollah would do little to change things. Or could even worsen things by more deeply entrenching the regime’s hatred of the United States. But the situation on the ground grew so dire that many celebrated the idea of US-intervention. They believed that there could be real change if only the foundation shifted to allow for it. Then they realized that there was no plan. 

What is this if not the same playbook of his bombastic words now playing out in real-time, with human consequences? 

As I said above, it’s my belief that Trump focuses almost exclusively on the now. Not the past. Not the future. This is part of what enables him to make grandiose statements not just with impunity — but with a lack of responsibility for their impact. And now we’re seeing the most extreme version of how this approach looks when applied to military force. The objectives of the war in Iran were never clear. Even within the administration itself, there were different statements from Hegseth, Rubio, and Trump himself to name a few. Everyone is bending over backwards each day to spin a narrative that justifies the actions being taken. But the reason that’s not possible is because — in my opinion — Trump doesn’t care about the larger, overarching narrative. He cares about winning. His definition of winning. 

And his interpretation of success as an individual does not always line up with what’s best for the United States — no matter which side of the political aisle you live on. That’s why this war has been so deeply unpopular. 

So where does this leave us? The people supposedly represented by the actions of this government. Now mired in this conflict whether we want to be or not.  

What I hope for all of us is that it does not leave us in a situation where we choose to look away. I can already see the shift in how exhausted people are with the current administration’s rhetoric. It’s important that we don’t allow this fatigue to extend to our view of its actions. For every action that we dismiss we put ourselves in greater peril of not just ignoring the next one, but not even noticing. And we have to stay aware. Even when it’s painful. Even when it’s embarrassing. Because to turn a blind eye is to condemn ourselves to a life with no power. And we the people still hold power. 

Vote in elections even when you feel your single vote won’t make a difference (I’ll be voting in this month’s special election in NYC and if you live in my neighborhood you should too!). Post on social media about any issue you feel strongly about. Call your representatives and remind them that they represent YOU — it’s easy and painless, I promise. Volunteer at the food bank or upcycling plant or local library or your place of worship. Every tiny action adds up. Just like words do. 

This is why people say that words matter. Because over time words lead to actions which lead to consequences. And it’s important that we the people — the actual individuals affected — continue to stand up and use our own voices too.

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